Small Attempts to Runaway

Yesterday, I was sitting with four lesbian girls and two gay men; one of whom is my boyfriend, in my house. We were getting intoxicated (as you do) in my living room with our cigarettes and poison of choice; and we had this imaginary moment where we decided that we don’t want to be in heavy-hearted Damascus anymore; but rather somewhere else in the world.

Picture this: the seven of us sitting in the living room; now I stand up with theatrical movements and start to draw the new place around us. “Here we are sitting there,” I said, with a huge smile on my face, “the room is beautifully warm and cozy; and one of the four walls – this big wall, for example – is made of glass.”

“Overlooking the sea?” Zeus, a short-hair brownish eyes lesbian girl would ask me, “Overlooking the sea!” I insist. “The sea is angry with its waves; pushing them over towards us; trying to get rid of them forever; they are angry back; fighting for their honorable place among its waters,” I add.

“In the distant, is there a storm?” Hyra, the beautiful girlfriend of Zeus who has a soft spot for Greek mythology, asks, “A storm indeed,” I point out, “deep in the heart of the sky comes a storm, full of black clouds and heavy rain; every now and again; a white sword of lightning flashes in the skies; and we shiver, although we are warm inside, to the thought of being under the rains.”

“The rain?” AJ, my young 18-year-old boyfriend asks me, “it’s raining outside; in the dark cold night; and the small palm tree outside is pushed against its well because of the wind. The rain is so heavy; it’s like what the French says ‘Il pleut des grenouilles comme vache qui pisse’ (It’s raining like a pissing cow).”

We took a moment of silence then we decided to talk about the room we are in. “It has a door leading to the unknown,” Zeus suggests, “It’s a door on that corner, that might lead us to a sweet soft bedroom or something.” I look at Nawara, who is thin-ish while saying that the door should lead to a “Kitchen, so perhaps your girlfriend can find something to eat.”

A small fireplace was planted in another corner; with magical fire that you gaze towards for hours to ask the deepest questions and get the simplest answers. On top of the fireplace we should “place a plasma TV that is huge and perfect,” says Zeus, “but never show any political news or pictures of killings.”

“It should just be muted, as we are playing Adele’s album on my iPod, but it should have these sweet semi-pornographic short clips; two women looking at each other with a smile; a kiss shared between two hot men; a touch of a hand.”

I took a moment; then I continued the fantasy: “On the TV: we see two women; they are approaching each other; one of them tires the clothes of the other; we see a button flying away; we go back to the women; zooming in on their touching soft lips; then back to the button as it flies further; the hands of one of the women is hiding the glorious chest of the other; yet you can tell that they are lovers; sharing a private moment and granting you a look; the button hits the earth; bouncing off in the air again; the women are sharing a deeper sexual moment; with lips on lips; hands on hands and body on body; while the button hits the floor; and shivering on it; yet to settle down; the women are engaging their bodies; getting deeper in the motion of love; and the button is still shivering; turning and tossing on the floor; looking for a place to rest; and as one of the women look up; with eyes closed and distant lips; giving out what seems like a small gesture of orgasmic happiness; the button rests on the floor.”

Silence falls on the room; the four lesbians are looking at me; the room is perfectly drawn around us; we are there; living in that moment; far away from angry Syria and angry parents and secrets we have to hide. We feel free for a moment or two.

I stand up; moving to sit next to my boyfriend; looking at him and whispering “and it goes like this.”


3 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Random Ntrygg
    Nov 15, 2011 @ 18:32:35

    achingly beautiful


  2. Trackback: Achingly Beautiful | Random Ntrygg
  3. dykewriter
    Sep 14, 2013 @ 17:18:35

    Reblogged this on dyke writer and commented:
    Achingly Beautiful


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