Hanging around tall people

Yes; hanging around gay people makes you gay; the same way hanging around tall people makes you tall.

I can’t remember how many times in my life I was offended by the thought that someone took a side away from me because they think hanging around gay men would simply turn them gay themselves; if anything, their reaction proves simply that are self-conscious about their own homosexuality and are afraid that hanging around me might trigger it to the extent that they might jump into the first short-shorts they find and run topless in the streets waving a rainbow flag.

I believe that these people are usually straight men with an alpha-male self-image that they build over some insecurity they had; and it’s the only way for them to deal with the world without showing how afraid and little they feel all the time.

I mean; how do they expect it to happen? Do I look like a devil that might hypnotics them into sucking a cock? Or maybe it’s some sort of a virus (American engineered one, naturally) that infect them if I sneezed in their faces making them long to the warm naked body of a man? Or maybe it’s the simple evil me who is going to get them drunk then take advantage of them all night long? The only reason why I don’t feel that offended anymore is simply because I feel they give me too much credit, really.

Maybe also, there is a different reason why they feel threaten or enraged by my very existence! Maybe this male-dominate society I live in put in their minds that anything related to men is better than anything related to women; when they see a woman who acts like a man they call her “Ekht Rjaal” (The sister of men) meaning that her brothers made her a tough woman and helped her to be something she is not; they take pride in her (as long as they don’t have to be married to her). But when they see a man that acts like a woman (or related in any way to a woman’s behavior, like for example, getting fucked) they feel that this is degrading; simply because they think everything related to a woman is degrading.

When a man comes out as a homosexual man in our society; all the straight men in the society feel angry and betrayed; they feel that one of them made them all look gay (or like a woman); which is an insult to all of them; an insult on the very essence of their manhood. They simply see it as “A man who is longing to be with a man is a woman; because only women want to be with men.”

You know what? Let me tell you about Ramy.

Ramy is a straight guy; or this is what you see when you see him hanging around the streets of Beirut; holding hands with his foreigner girlfriend (who only dates him because of a pysdo-fantasy that she is some sort of a princess and he is her Aladdin) speaking to her with broken English and telling her things like “I love you the way I love the moon, now let’s have hot sex”. Ramy and I met in one of the parties I throw lately in Beirut in an apartment belonging to my aunt. He came around with his girlfriend; sat on my aunt’s sofa; drank my wine; made it in my aunt’s bathroom with his girlfriend; spilled vodka on her couch then got really drunk and started calling me names and asking me to stay away from him.

“You faggot son of a bitch; you want to turn me gay like you, you all do! Fuck you and fuck them all!” he says it so everyone can see; and everyone looked at me asking with their eyes on what the hell is going on.

He left, but not before trying to crash my aunt’s favorite lamb.

The next morning; Ramy was knocking on my aunt’s door; I was alone in the house as my aunt is away; I was sitting there, cleaning and counting loses of the night before when he knocked on the door. I opened up and invited him in when he explained he is here to apologize.

Helping me cleaning; he was staring at me with his black eyes; trying to ignore him; I told him he doesn’t have to clean and he is more than welcomed to leave the house. I explained that he doesn’t need to apologize or anything.

“Do you have a boyfriend?” he asks out of the blue, “Yes, I do.” I lied, not sure why. “Oh, I see. And are you a top or a bottom?” he ask with hungry eyes; and I could tell where this conversation was going from now on. “I believe this is none of your business; I think this is between me and my boyfriend.” He smiles; then comes closer to me staring at me with his big black eyes; I don’t know why I felt he was a wolf staring at his prey. “You know, if you are a bottom; I am sure I can show you a good time.”

I’m not sure of the order of things that happened later on; I remember that I punched him in the face; I kicked him on the ass; I kicked him out and I called his girlfriend and told her of the incident. I’m just not sure which action happened before which.

Let’s just say that hanging around gay people does not make you gay; it rather let you slip the already presented gayness in yourself out; but in all sick ways.


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