The Ex-Files: You Have Been Terminated!

I should have seen the signs, I blame myself for not knowing too early that this will be the end. The way he talks, the friends he has, the people he knows and the secrets that he kept that I managed to uncover; all these stuff should have alerted me that there is something fishy about this guy; yet, I was too blinded with my own judgement that I couldn’t let go of the feeling that “he is just pure at heart who happens to know a lot of imperfect people.”

I told you about him before; telling you the story of how things went down; how I felt when he walked out the door and how I wanted to keep the memories to myself; and just be the man that I expect myself to be. However, I did not tell you about the aftermath of all these events; which I think deserves a post of its own.

Was I mistaken for not making sure that when he leaves the house, he leaves with only his stuff? He left the house with his stuff, most of my stuff and my passport and university degrees.

Was I mistaken when I introduced him to all my friends? when I stood on his side when he had a fight with each of them? I should know better than to trust a boy who I met and fall in love with rather than keeping my trust in my friends who saw right through him.

Was I mistaken for loving him? I honestly don’t know.

We met couple of times after our break-up; he honestly believed that we’ll get back together; I promised him to re-think about it if he managed to pass his exams and found himself a job; I thought that responsibilty would shape him to be a better person; and I had feelings for him back then still. However, during our post-break-up meetings; we would always fight; he will always blame me for everything; telling me how I treated him wrong; how he expected that I will love him forever. I kept telling him that he digged this hole and he has to climb up out of it; that I did love him and that all I wanted was his respect, honesty and commitment; I didn’t get any.


He would fight with me, before our break up and after it; while screaming; always calling me names; always finding himself the victom; he honestly believed that he deserved a man who takes care of him and treat him like a king at all hours; he honestly believed that he should not respiricate to that man under any value.

Days after we broke up I asked him for a break. “I broke up with you because I want the fighting to stop,” I remember saying, “I need to have some peace of mind and some me-time. Just let me be for a week or two.” He refused, telling me that he can’t imagine not seeing me ever again. I told him that if he wants to see me; he should not plan on fighting with me all the time. He promised he wouldn’t. He never kept a promise.

Then I decided that I will turn off my mobile and just disappear for a week; with the intention that I will try to be his friend and put more effort into fixing our friendship after I recharge my power. I called him to tell him so, and he exlpoded. “I want the rest of my stuff in your house,” he said, while he knew that he took half of my clothes, some of my underwears, the gifts that I got him and the gifts he got me. “I don’t want to see you anymore.” he promised. I told him that this is a sad decision but it’s his to take and promised him his stuff that night.

He couldn’t handle the idea of losing his favorite punching bag; he exploded; over 50 phone calls in one day; I felt that I’m talking to a bi-polar person; one phone call is crying out loud asking me to go back to him; the other is a crazy person screaming insults and telling me that his revenge is coming. I stopped picking up his calls.

“I have your passport and university degrees, you better pick up.” A text message I recived from him two minutes later.

Four hours later he was waiting for me in a friend’s house; with an evil smile on his face; he managed to change my mind; he managed to get me to come to where he wants me to be; but he didn’t know that I’d rather cut off my own arm than to let it be twisted by someone else.

“I brought you the rest of your shit,” I said, while throwing a trash bag in his face full of his stuff, “give me my papers!” he smiles and gives me the papers; and I’m about to walk out when he said, with the most evil voice I’ve ever heard. “You better sit down; I still got your passport.”

That was the moment when I totally lost control of myself; I’m ashamed of myself for the following; but for the first time in my life; I hit someone; hard. I hit him on the face, on the cheast and on the legs; and I tell him one sentence repeatedly: “GIVE ME MY FUCKING PASSPORT!”

He tries to tire the pages of the passport; but my friends stop him; they hand me the passport and I leave; I get on a bus heading anywhere and I leave; I just wanted to be as far away as possible from him.

Two days ago, he called. He says that he forgot his English books in  my house; and politely ask for them; I tell him that I got him all his stuff and there is nothing more left in my house and the craziness starts again; more phone calls; more stories from his imagination. “You will pay the price for cheating on me!” he says, while we both know that even if I want to cheat; I wouldn’t be able to when we spent every awake moment together in the four months we were in a relationship. He started then calling my friends telling them that I’m saying shit about them. He also tried to connect to my friends back in Lebanon in Helem trying to give them a bad image about me. He sent me saying that he will come to my office in drag and out me to everyone; he promised to come to my father’s place of work and out me to him.

That was the moment when I decided that this person needs to leave my life; NOW.

In the middle of the night; I went down with my friends looking for a shop that sells new phone numbers; got myself a new one. The next morning; I hacked into his Facebook account; which was easy given the fact that his passport was his own home number; I deleted all my photos from his account. Then back to my Facebook account to delete all his photos from my account. Then I sent to all my friends telling them about this; and assure them that I’m not saying shit about him. I came out to my boss at work and asked for her help; she is half Lebanese half American; she understood and notified the security never to allow him in the office; I printed his picture and gave it to the security. I called my father, who I’m out to, and told him about it; he wasn’t too happy but he promised that this kid will never come around his work place; then I sent him a message.

“Your books are not in my house; I have never cheated on you. I know that this is your strategy to keep the communication going between the two of us; but now it’s over. You have been terminated from my life; go fuck yourself.”

I de-friended him and blocked him. I’m free of him.

Now I just need to go down and buy tons of clothes because he stole much of my winter clothes; I need a new haircut; and maybe a new man.


2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Mike
    Jan 25, 2012 @ 13:22:10

    I love you 🙂


  2. Trackback: Damascus, I think we’ve got a problem « Sama Says

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