Love is My Shadow

As I look back down my history. I can’t but feel that love has been following me around like a shadow. Hiding behind corners and jumping at me from dark allies. It’s a quest that my heart seems to be interested in following like a mad and tragic Greek hero following his adventure knowing its undoubtedly bending doom.

I seek love the way a man seeks water in a desert while burdened with sorrows and thirst. I feel that love is my energy that fills me with lust for life. When I’m in love; I feel like I’m Buddha on drugs, like I’m Elvis on stage, like I’m a mad professor who just brought the monster back to live, like I’m Mother Teresa, like I’m a porno star in an Oscar winning performance, like I’m God.

I see it hiding in the innocent eyes of a nerdy boy in his twenties. I find it deep under the muscles of a beautifully built man with a dirty beard and dark eyes. I catch it glimpsing in the smile of a blue eyed foreigner who seems me as his own version of Aladdin. I feel it soft and caring in the arms of an older wise man. I taste it when I suck someone’s ear or when I lick his erected nipples. I share my bed with love when I keep his head on my chest as I keep my date warm at night. When I change his name to a cuddly name on my mobile.

071029shadow

I’m what they call a serial monogamist! I’m a man with passion for passion; and love for love. I’m depressed and sad when I don’t have a “him” in my life; a man I can care for and enjoy; a man I can call late at night just to play him a Fairouz song; or I remember him with a red rose while I’m heading for our next date.

Love is my shadow; it follows me around as long as the sun of life is raising in my heart. To resist love for me is to resist the light, to resist the happy, the normal, the deep emotions and the roaring laughter. To resist love is a struggle I’m facing now in my quest for a meaningful and deep relationship. It’s a challenge; and I’m losing.

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1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. bASSEM
    Feb 16, 2012 @ 17:13:03

    I KNOW IT’S HARD BUT I’M SURE YOU CAN OVER COME WHATEVER COMES INFRONT OF YOU
    WISHING YOU THE BEST
    P.S YOU HAVE BEAUTIFULL WAY TO EXPRESS YOUR FEELING
    I LIKE YOUR WORDS AMD YOUR WAY OF SPEACK

    Reply

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