It’s a sad sad situation

As you do, I have became, unwillingly, an admin to a Facebook group for gay people in Syria. The group was started by my boyfriend and his friends a month or two before he met me, but then he asked me to write stuff in the group to help the guys in. I ended up posting music videos and photos of Olympic athletics.

However, the insight I managed to get from the group scared me sometimes.

The group has multiple discussions regarding sexuality, religion, fate and the future that these young guys (most of the group members are under the age of 25) await. I was stunned by what kind of messages these guys are sending to each other and, more importantly, to themselves.

On a discussion about getting older, and the possibility of living with another guy when you’re old who you’d be in a long-term relationship with. One of the guys explained that he:

from my side, I do not think that I will grow old alone or even with a male partner. I’ll grow old with my wife and my kids.

The same guy was discussing two days earlier how beautiful the male American athletics who are taking part in the Olympic this year and explicitly explaining the kind of stuff he’d like to do if he got the chance to be in bed with them.

Also, the same guy was talking in a different discussion, about living-in partners and he said that:

I hope one day I’d live with a guy. I don’t know if I’ll find the guy who would tolerant me and my moods, but this seems like a great idea.

It scared me how this guy, who is actually a nice intelligent guy according to my boyfriend who met him once or twice before, is living a double standard life where he doesn’t really know if he will be able to live with his lover, or would he prefer to go mainstream.

Two other guys were hoping that they will not reach the point where they are old and alone. When someone pointed out that getting old is inevitable, one of the guys explained that he will “do whatever he can not to get old, which is a statement that can be alarming.

Another discussion took place due to the month of Ramdan, a holy month for the believers of Islam, among other things: the person who is fasting during the day of Ramadan should not have sexual intercourse; and the guys were talking about that. However, when the concept was discussed further; they all seemed to actually consider themselves to be abnormal among their society; and they all talked badly about homosexual people; they all seemed to be in a love/hate relationship with themselves. Tons of posts were explaining how the Islam traditions specifically called for the punishment of homosexuality with death to both parties engaging in a homosexual act. When I tried to explain my point of views regarding the matter, I was attacked heavily.

They are living a double life among their family and friends; they all use fake names to access Facebook; such names as the purple flower or the Syrian Top, this double life is not only effecting how they deal with people around them; where they hide their sexuality from the society and experience it in secret; but also with the way they deal with themselves. Lots of self-hatred, lots of low self-esteem. What troubled me is also a lack of interest in knowing themselves. When I started a discussion about sexuality and how you’re “Born This Way” quoting doctors and researches, I was faced with lack of interest. No one among them really cared much; and no one among them wanted to know more. They do not want to understand themselves but rather they just want to adapt to what the society considers normal.

It’s a sad, sad situation. I honestly feel sorry for them. All of them.

Among other discussions; there was a very positive one about a new e-magazine called “Moaleh” released by Syrian LGBT community (and by LGBT I mean one gay guy who managed to get three or four other guys to work with him on publishing it. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a good step forward, and I checked the magazine and it is informative.)


1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. witchylisa
    Aug 06, 2012 @ 09:40:20

    It’s not any better in Lebanon (just more alcohol abuse to numb awareness and self-rejection)


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